Tuesday, December 21, 2010

I've moved to www.snoeberry.com

see you there!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Embarrassing 2 me

If you know my daughter, you know she's extremely tenacious and determined. Those are euphemisms for being a world-class nag. She was scheduled to get braces on Tuesday and our babysitter was taking her (so I could go to work - bleh!). Kid became fixated on how the babysitter would get her there, relentlessly texting and calling me all day so I could give the babysitter directions. I chose to ignore her. Hubby called me urgently at night class, cuz kid #2 realized he had a homework assignment that required the printer ink we had just run out of. Out of class at 10pm, en route to Target for the ink. Kid still texting, calling and being really freakin' annoying. Just as I got back into the van after getting the (wrong) ink, she texted again. Since I was in a locked mini van in the Target parking lot at 11pm, I started screaming at the phone, "Leave me alone!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Isn't that what you would do? While squeezing the life out of my BlackBerry and screaming my guts out, I inadvertently called my husband.


Knowing that I was at Target in the middle of the night and screaming, he logically concluded that I was being assaulted. I slipped the BB into my pocket and as I pulled out, it rang. Assumed it was the kid, so screamed some more and when I finally took a breath I heard my husband's very soft, very concerned voice saying, "honey, what's going on?" Oops. I don't know which is more mortifying - my husband knowing that I scream at my phone, or knowing that I sit in locked cars in empty parking lots, screaming to myself.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Skyler on Ghost at Netherwood Acres. Thought I'd have the guts to ride and videotape, but I didn't!

How does she do it?

Just wondering - how does a multi-addicted, profanity-spewing, hygienically-challenged train wreck like Courtney Love get designers around the world to throw hundreds of hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of fabulous, free frocks at her? And a Birkin bag for Courtney? Really? Does that sound right to you? Not to mention the fact that I think she's got stronger feelings for that bag than she does for her kid. And she definitely has a better idea of its location than she does of, well, her own. Not to sound bitter (I am) but I'm a nice person, can't I score a little swag? And I can promise, I wouldn't throw up on the stuff at the end of long and twisted night. Well,here's what I wore today:

Nike running cap (women's), Dirty Heads sweatshirt, blue Tipperary protective vest (no safety rating but is confidence boosting), black Merona (Target's in-house clothing line - most would not admit to wearing this)turtleneck, black Kerrit's winter-weight riding tights, Ariat rear zip field boots. Unseen: Enell no-bounce bra - advertised as the ugliest bra you'll ever own. It is. And, last but not least - Jelly Pantz!!! My latest purchase and they have changed my equestrian life! And my dear hubby's, too.

Monday, October 25, 2010

not mother of the year, but I am fun!

Ok, mom of the year I am not.  Took my 11-yr-old daughter cross country riding twice last week.  That would be on horses, through the woods, swamp, and over a hell of a lot of jumps that you don't see until you're on top of them.  Netherwood Acres in Hyde Park NY.  Gorgeous, brave Irish Sport Horses that will jump anything!  Will let anyone ride -- just say you can ride and you're off (with a guide).  One of the women in our group fell off twice, another fell off once and lost her boot!  I don't even know how to do that!  My butt couldn't be more sore, even though I wore bicycle shorts underneath my breeches.  Skyler was the only kid on both rides -- I don't think they see kids too often -- first question was "Is she riding?"  But they were game and so was she.  First time around, first jump, she said she felt a little out of control, as if she was galloping.  Guide said, "well, that's because you are galloping".  Fine after that -- just had to set expectations. 

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

scared myself when I looked in the mirror this morning

really -- it was like "whoa, who's that creepy...ohh"  I don't usually wear much make-up, but I guess some days actually call for it.  Luckily, I'm shooting today, so I've got a make-up artist in.  But she's exhausted, worked 'til 2 am for QVC and doesn't look too interested in helping me out. 

Friday, August 6, 2010

beetles, gophers, powdery mildew and blossom rot

When I lived on E. 13th Street, I tried growing a container garden on my fire escape.  This worked pretty well, except when I was watering and inadvertently watered the local drug dealers.  I abandoned my horticultural explorations 'til we moved to the burbs. 

Our first house had a postage-stamp sized yard, so there wasn't room to grow more than a few blades of grass.  That, and I was in an ongoing battle with the family of skunks that lived under our front door, so I didn't have much time to devote to growing things.  I don't need to tell you about skunks during mating season.  I wish I didn't know about it.

When we moved to our second house, I started a vegetable garden.  Organic, natch.  So basically everything started growing, but was then chewed to bits by all sorts of creepy crawly things.  So I bought ladybugs and lacewings in bulk.  Let 1000 ladybugs loose in the backyard last year, but they seem to have a really strong preference for the indoors.  Our house is infested with the adorable little things.  In fact, I found one in my hair today, right after I took a shower -- had no idea they were impervious to water.   Good thing it's hard to be creeped out by a ladybug -- imagine if it was a slug -- blegh!  As for the lacewings -- I think they were damned before they even got out of the box -- haven't seen hide nor hair of them since (not that they have hide nor hair).  Next year, I'm going with praying mantis -- just because they look so cool.  

Two years ago, I discovered that one part of the garden was vulnerable to squash blossom rot, so I tried rotating my crops.  Rot follows.  Doesn't have far to go, as the garden is only 25' x 6'.  Will stop planting squash.

Last year, I discovered organic pesticides.  They don't work.  No matter, because the bugs are no longer an issue, the mammals are.  And let me give you a run-down on all the pungently odiferous solutions I've tried: fermented salmon, fox urine, bat guano, garlic spray, homemade chili-cayenne and black pepper glaze and, in desperation, straight cayenne, directly onto the leaves.  Noticed real bite marks in the leaves this spring -- not bugs, but animals, stripping the leaves off everything.  Spinach, lettuce, beets, snow peas, string beans, sunflowers decimated.  Fenced in entire garden,  only to discover that I had fenced the evil creatures in, not out. 

Entire family of bunnies living in my garden -- they hopped out of their little rabbit hole to a veritable buffet.  So freakin' cute!  Told my 5 year old that we may not have veggies, but I'm buying a gun and we're gonna have rabbit stew.  He didn't like that too much.

Rabbits have moved out, replaced by big, corpulent gophers.  They eat everything, including flowers and trees!  Anyone got a recipe for braised gopher?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

what's in it for me?

why a blog?  why not?  It forces me to write (which is something I want to do) and to do so for an audience (even if I am the lone reader).  A place for me to record the random musings that I just can't keep in my own little head (cuz I won't remember them if I don't -- that's the way it is for us middle-aged women).  I've got a husband, three kids, a rescue puppy, a rescue cat, a rescue rabbit and a cockatiel and chinese dwarf hamster who we once thought had butt cancer, but it turned out that he was just extremely well-endowed.  Yup, you can imagine the new words that the kids learned in that visit to the vet, and how pleased I was to pay a mere $250 for the knowledge that no, that's not a tumor growing out of his ass, it's his balls.  Did I mention that a chinese dwarf hamster costs $18?  And has an average life span of three years? 

We moved on to the next animal debacle this morning -- brought puppy Skittles in to be spayed and to have her prolapsed third eyelid removed.  Who knew dogs had three eyelids?  Wouldn't be so much cooler if they had a third eye (that wasn't blind)?  Poor, sweet creature has no idea of what she's in for.  We can only hope for a swift recovery and some really good doggie drugs.